“So there we stood me ‘earties, in a fierce sou’westerly, headed for ‘ome. Me ol’ peg leg skidding around on the surf-blasted top deck, when cap’n Sophie spies summat on the ‘orizon. It was a vacancy the likes of which ‘adn’t been seen since we drove the Armada onto the rocks and watched a thousand Spanish sailors removed from their posts by the ‘eartless briny grip o’ Davy Jones locker. Yea, a massive corporate hiring programme, tossed high on the great fiscal swell, plain as a syphilitic boil on a seaman’s manhood, tacked across our course, unawares of what awaited her. It drove me an’ me fellow recruitmates into a frenzy of excitement as we charged our mobiles, fired up the database and cradled a phone under our ears like a favourite violin….

A special mention to Colin Edwards for his guest blog!